I just love the days, when I can just sit crisscross facing my laptop, sipping a cup of coffee and writing down random thoughts about life. Its been a decade I guess, since I was not able to write again and so glad for free days when I can just bare my heart. I just love to be silent, gaze, meditate and pen down, at times draft all the crazy wild thoughts without being so cautious of what I am trying to express, rather what I really want to say.
A line of a corny song crossed my mind, but had a truth on it, "Honesty is such a lonely world, every one is so untrue. Yes, you can always fake things to people even lie to yourself but you can never lie to God. When the lights are off and you cant still sleep and you are daunted with so many unsettled issues, sins, burdens, baggages then that is the time that you need to be real and honest with God. Reality is we can never handle things alone, we need Him. At times solitude is essential where it is a furnace of transformation, and one of the wonderful things of having a relationship with God is that- in the silence you have the full access to Him, you have the liberty to be who you are and His assuring presence of comfort and peace.
I'm currently reading a book, by E.Elliot, "Love has a price tag" and I quote what she wrote: "Life is full of things we can't do about, but which we are supposed to do something with. "He himself endured a cross, and thought nothing of its shame because of the joy." And I agree with her, (Not just because she is one of my favorite writers, needless to say one of the heroes of my faith) because life is always composed of pain, discouragements are inevitable, cliche to say, there are so many things we wish do not exist but they are. What if our prayers are not answered? what if our circumstances does not change? What if the pain does not go away. We need to learn the discipline of being "real" with God, when we don't put up a mask to Him, when we don't hide what we feel, rather we just pour out all the injustices of this world. Automatically it does not change after that, but our heart does, and I think it matters when our perspectives are driven to what we do not see but what lies ahead.
Baring your heart to God, does not just appease your emotions but it draws you closer to Him, to His attributes, to His being and for me that is sweet.
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